Relationships and Finances: Resolving Serious Financial Fights

As we continue our series on relationships and finance, we come to a pretty serious question: What do you do if you and your spouse are fighting about finances? I’m not talking about arguing; I’m talking about all-out yelling, crying and talks of divorce. How can you and your spouse come to a peaceful resolution, marriage intact?

See a Marriage Counselor

The first step is to see a marriage counselor. If you wonder how a marriage counselor can help with finances, that’s understandable – most people think a marriage counselor is for marriages on the rocks, not for couples in financial danger.

However, marriage counselors can help you and your spouse begin to communicate so that you can solve your financial difficulties together. Also, if you are not communicating, your marriage is on the rocks – or at least in rough waters. Facing the reality that your relationship needs help before you can address your finances is your first step.

See a Financial Counselor

The next step is to see a financial counselor. For many people, their marriage counselor is also qualified to be a financial counselor. In this case, your counselor will move you and your spouse naturally to a point where the lines of communication are open and financial counseling can begin in earnest.

If your counselor does not have credentials to act as your financial counselor as well, or if you wish to seek money management help elsewhere, a dedicated financial counselor can guide you and your spouse through budgeting decisions. The counseling will center on your deepest issues: spending beyond your means, debt issues, income problems, etc.

However, the financial counselor will also help you and your spouse brainstorm ideas to become financially stable together. Maybe you can cut up credit cards as a team, or you could think of ways to bring in more income together. You could brainstorm ideas to cut back on everyday spending or consolidate debt. Whatever your ideas, your financial counselor will be there to help you along the way and to help you communicate rather than fight.

Set Free From Counseling: Now What?

Once you and your spouse are on your own again, you will have to work really hard to keep the peace found in your financial counseling. Just because you went through counseling, you are not magically going to agree on finances. At this point, you will have to lean heavily on the tools you learned from both counselors. Thankfully, those tools should help you communicate through any financial troubles that may arise, but again, it is up to you and your spouse to put forth the hard work to maintain your new financial wisdom.

As you begin your joint financial venture in marriage counseling and beyond, it’s important to work together and communicate. It’s a long road, but coming to agreements can help you meld your lifestyles and love for a more cohesive path to financial freedom.

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