How a Vacuum Sales Call Almost Sucked Me In

I’ve always viewed myself as street smart. I don’t take candy from strangers. I don’t run on pool decks. I don’t dance naked in wind storms...So how did I end up this close (and I mean this close!) to purchasing a Kirby vacuum from a door-to-door salesperson? Well, let me count the ways:

Mistake #1: Taking a Phone Survey

My first mistake was answering the phone. When the fateful call came in, the number was blocked on my caller ID, and I knew it had to be a telemarketer. Ugh.

Anywho, I answered the phone to the chipper voice of a teenage telemarketer. She sounded pleasant enough, and when she asked if I had time to take an allergy survey, I took pity on the poor soul. I said yes.

The cute little voice ran me through a bunch of allergy questions to which I answered no to everything. No, I don’t have allergies to dust. No, my hubby does not have allergies to animals. No, my Great Dane is not allergic to humans. Basically, my household is simply unallergetic.

By the end of the call, I was sure that was the end of my telemarketing experience. The girl thanked me for my time and told me that I was being placed in a drawing for a $50 gift card to Applebee’s for my participation. Awesome; free food is always good.

Mistake #2: Answering the Phone Again

A few weeks after my survey phone call, another telemarketer called to let me know that I won the gift card. I was excited! I love Applebee’s, and a free date night is hard to come by.

However, to get my gift card, I needed to sit through a 20 minute allergy spiel at my home. I was hesitant, but I thought that $50 for 20 minutes was a pretty good deal. I told the (very nice) telemarketer that I don’t have allergies and the presentation would be a waste of the salesperson’s time.

Her response? “The salesperson in your area is new at this, and he just wants a few minutes to practice his pitch and get some feedback.”

My response: “Oh, well, sure, I guess. Bring on the newbie!”

Mistake #3: Letting a Salesperson into my Home

Okay, by now I’m sure you’re all inwardly groaning, “Don’t let a salesperson into your home! You’ll never get him to leave!” Well, you are all supremely correct, but here’s the story.

So I answered the door to a cute little boy, no older than eighteen. Yes, he did seem very green, and somehow that made me feel more secure. I let him in.

The thing is, once he got inside, he was a fully-trained selling machine! He expertly took me through a two hour presentation (yes, two hours!) about the ins and outs of an air purifier and vacuum. Both were named Air Pure, and both did seem like very good products. The air purifier was well-built, and the vacuum really did pick up about 10 times as much dirt as my Dyson. Oh, and by the way, wouldn’t you know it, this little sales guy kept telling me I was the smartest woman he’d ever met…

I won’t bore you with all the other details about the machines – remember this was a two hour presentation in which we covered a lot of ground – but I will say that by the time he finished his pitch, I was almost sucked in. I needed that vacuum.

Mistake #4: Showing a Tiny Bit of Interest

Of course, by the time I realized that I needed that vacuum like nobody’s business, he knew he had a live one on the end of his line. He took me through the prices ($1500 for the vacuum alone), but for me, he could drop that price to $1200.

Thank God, some of my sanity returned at this point. I told him for that dollar amount, I needed to consult with my husband. My little sales guy was shocked, and he kept insisting I purchase at that exact moment. He called his boss no less than ten times to get me even better deals, but he finally gave up when I kept insisting that this dollar amount was a joint purchase and I needed to speak to my husband.

All in all, this experience was one of the most disappointing I have ever sat through. I wasted over two hours on this sales call, and I never even got my gift card. Supposedly, it’s in the mail, but I don’t expect it to ever show the light of day on my doorstep.

My point in all of this? If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Oh, and if you ever have the opportunity to take an allergy survey on the phone, ask them to take you off their list.

Has anyone else been suckered into sitting through a sales call?