Hidden Savings Accounts: Good or Bad?

As many of you know, I was raised by a poor single mother. What I have not yet mentioned is that my mother was in college during some of my most formative years, and she took an interest in feminism while I was still playing with dolls.

I remember distinctly when, for one of my mother’s projects, she had to watch TV commercials and rate them on their misogynistic undertones. This rating system became a bonding moment for my mother and me as she declared that only women were pictured in commercials for cleaning supplies. I pointed out that only women cooked on television, and our feminism liaison began.

As I got older, my mother mentioned some bigger ideas about women, including the idea that women should be prepared at all times for the unexpected in life. For many like my mother, divorce can wreak havoc on their lives – leaving them without the education, job experience and/or money necessary to begin a new life.  

An Account of Her Own

For this reason, my mother highly advised me to get through college before marrying, and at the university, there was one idea that I learned in one my own feminism classes: Set your own money aside for a rainy day. This principle establishes that a woman should have one savings account hidden from her husband, in case of divorce, especially if she would have difficulty maintaining her lifestyle should her husband leave.

This idea leaves me a little torn. Should a woman dedicated to raising her family squirrel away extra money in a hidden cubbyhole, just in case the marriage doesn’t work out? Or should she trust her husband to be fair in a divorce?

Ten years ago, I would have said yes, set up an account. But now, since I am married to a wonderful man, I say it depends. All people are different, and all marriages are different. These days, women may be better off talking through any fears with their spouses, obtaining an education and taking any other steps that could better equip them for any potential rainy day. Ideally, this kind of give and take would be the standard in marriages, but...sometimes it's not.

Chris and Alice

For example, one of my friends married a very controlling man. He decides everything, and she goes along with it, no questions asked. While this may be an ideal situation for them, the situation also concerns me.

Chris decided that Alice should quit her job to be a stay-at-home-mother (SAHM). This is great for Chris, Alice and the kids – and I truly believe SAHM is the greatest job in the world. However, this leaves Alice very vulnerable to Chris’s many whims and to his controlling nature.

When Chris decided to cut Alice’s grocery allowance, for example, she had to struggle to feed her boys. When he wouldn’t give her money for a nice evening out with friends, she was stuck at home. And if he ever decided he and Alice no longer belonged together, I am quite sure he wouldn’t hesitate to leave her out in the cold.

For this situation, I think a hidden savings account could help Alice regain her freedom, feed her children and give her peace of mind. Chris and Alice may also benefit from some counseling, but that’s another story altogether.

Overall, I am left torn about a woman’s (or man’s – there are also men in this situation) hidden savings account. I can see where such an account would be beneficial in volatile marriages. However, I think that being open and honest with your spouse is the best way to ensure you are both financially set for the unforeseen, in any situation.

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