Money and Relationships: Giving in to Your Spouse’s Spending Crisis

Have you ever been chugging along on your budget path quite nicely for months or years only to be derailed by a spousal purchase? If the draw for a big screen TV, a video game, a designer purse, or a pair of (beautiful...) shoes finally got the better of your spouse, what should you do?

As mentioned in “Money and Relationships: Talking About True Desires,” it’s never too late to ask your partner to return a big ticket item. If the purchase will affect you or your family negatively (say that you can’t afford food that month), it is advisable to always take the item back to the store.

But what if you really can afford it? And what if you kind of like the way that TV looks on the wall or truly enjoy how happy those shoes make your partner? Let’s look at some ways you can give into this purchase without setting a new spending precedent.

Discuss Your Concerns

To begin the discussion, let your partner know that the purchase may set you back on your financial goals (in the nicest way possible, I might add). Sometimes tact or even biting your tongue may be absolutely necessary.

Although you may want to rant and rave about the huge dent the purchase has put in your financial plan, your spouse probably already knows this. Remember here that your partner is an adult and is (most likely) fully aware that he deviated from the plan.

A simple reminder can work wonders to open the lines of communication. Without blame, you may want to ask, “If we keep this, how can we get back on track with our goals?” Together, you can adjust your financial plan to include the purchase (if and only if you both agree it is affordable and desirable).

Lay Out New Ground Rules

Of course, as you give in to this spending crisis, you probably don’t want your spouse to make these types of purchases a new habit. Really, a big screen TV every month can become outrageously expensive!

So what do you do to make sure it doesn’t happen again? Just communicate this as calmly as possible. Tell your spouse that you as a couple cannot afford to spend like this, but you will allow it once. It may be wise to go into detail about why you will allow it now and only now to make sure there is no confusion. Also, you might wish to suggest a Photo Source